There are times when I feel like an absolute fraud as a Christian. In the dictionary a Christian is defined as “a person who believes in and follows Jesus Christ” and someone who “possesses Christian virtues”.
Virtues are the same as the fruits of the Spirit spoken about in the Bible – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.1
I just have to get behind the wheel of a car and all of the above mentioned virtues disappear from my life. When I am waiting to turn at a traffic light and the oncoming vehicles just keep on coming even though the traffic lights have turned red or when I have spent 5 minutes waiting in a queue to turn right and a taxi driver just whizzes up besides me and cuts in, I find myself giving into feelings of extreme road rage! In fact, on one or two occasions, I have forgotten that I have a passenger with me in the car until my 12 year old, sitting on the back seat says in a very shocked voice “Mommy, you are not allowed to use words like that!”
I am very thankful that my children and husband are seldom in the audience when I am speaking or giving my testimony. When one speaks in front of a Christian audience you are always so aware of wanting to make a good impression so I can just imagine one of my children sitting there listening to me and saying to themselves “Who is my mom trying to kid! I live with her. I saw her lose her temper just this morning when she tripped over the shoe I left in the middle of the doorway. She certainly didn’t show any self-control then!”
I identify so much with the following quote:
When I say, “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are all too visible
But God believes I’m worth it2
In Ephesians it says “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast”.3Grace is an unmerited gift, the condition of being favoured and sanctified by God.
When I feel like a fraud as a Christian I go back to the foot of the cross and seek forgiveness for my lack of self-control, my anger or jealousy and then I rest peacefully in the knowledge “that everyone who believes in Jesus receives forgiveness of sins through His name”.4
All definitions given are from the collinsdictionary.com1Galations 5:22, Holy Bible, NIV
3Ephesians 2:8 & 9, Holy Bible, NIV
4Acts 10:43, Holy Bible, NIV